Life is full of choices. Some are big, like marriage or career changes or moving. Some are small, like what to wear or what to eat for breakfast. In our reading from Sirach, we see that God is involved in the choices we make, placing before us “life and death, good and evil.” We are free, but God asks us to choose according to God’s wisdom, God’s commandments.

I believe most people want to choose life and good over death and evil. Unfortunately, that intention does not always translate into action. I miss opportunities to make life-giving choices when I react out of fear or fatigue or even hanger (hunger+anger) rather than my reason or desire for good. Although I want to make good choices, ones that align with God, I sometimes act out of my human weakness instead. When I do, I regret it immediately. I guess we all do that from time to time.

There are other occasions, though, when I do take time to reflect on a decision. I discern my heart out, but it’s unclear what the life-giving choice is. There are some best practices of decision-making: examining my thoughts and feelings, talking it through with a spiritual director or friend, opening myself to God in prayer, journaling. Even with all that, though, sometimes the way toward God’s will isn’t obvious.

I know it’s not just me who struggles with this. Over years of walking with people in ministry and spiritual direction, I’ve seen many others struggle to figure out which are the life-giving choices among options. Like First Corinthians says, God’s wisdom is mysterious and hidden. Usually, if we lean in or take a baby step forward, we either get a confirmation of a good choice or a sign that we’re moving in the wrong direction, but sometimes we don’t. Or, it just takes so long for confirmation that it seems like we’ll be hanging in the limbo of indecision forever. Getting to clarity can demand patient waiting, and that doesn’t feel good. Some of us respond by making a quick choice just to get out of that discomfort (guilty!), while some others kind of freeze in that limbo, unable to move forward or back.

Here’s the thing, though – most decisions are not irreversible. If I take a job that seems like a good fit but it turns out to be terrible, I can find something else. If I move and it doesn’t work out, I can go somewhere else. It will take time and effort and will probably be a pain, but it won’t ruin my life. I can simply change direction. God will call me to something else and will move with me as I change course.

Some decisions, like marriage or vowed life, are serious, and we choose them with the intention of living with them for our whole lives. These kinds of choices are made over time, with lots of small opportunities to say yes or no before a vow is made. Even then, though, things happen. Sadly, people find that the person they married was not who they thought they were, or people have experiences that change them so deeply that their relationship can’t fit anymore. Changing course after these kinds of choices is deeply painful, but it can be done. It happens. People pick up the pieces and they survive. Often they grow.

I’m not implying that we should take our commitments lightly, but I am saying that there are no choices that are beyond God’s redemption. Even when we make terrible choices, even when we don’t choose the life-giving course but instead move along a trail of destruction, God loves us. Even when that happens, God is always calling us back from the brink. And we are always free to turn and follow that call, no matter where we’ve been or what we’ve done. God’s wisdom is not like blind justice; God sees us exactly as we are and loves us. God’s wisdom is deeply compassionate and always seeks life. That’s good news. Even when we make choices that have more to do with death than life, more to do with destruction than building up, God offers us life. That’s what redemption is. That’s what resurrection is.

God calls us to choose wisely, and hopefully we can trust that God will love us through whatever we choose. Ultimately, our desire to choose life comes from God, in whose image we are created, and who has given us life in the first place.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, meaningful conversations, and dancing but hates waffling in indecision.