In our Gospel this Sunday, we meet two brothers. Their father tells them to go to work. One says no but then does what his father asks, and the other says yes but does what he darn well pleases instead. Jesus asks which one does his father’s will, but I’m wondering — with which one do you identify?

As for me, I’d like to say I’m neither, that my yes means yes and that when I say I’ll do something, I follow through. But if I had to pick one of these, I’m probably the one who says yes but doesn’t mean it. It’s not that I’m flaky; it’s just that it’s hard to say no. People like it better when you say yes to their requests; yes sometimes feels like the path of least resistance. However, a yes I don’t mean can lead to resentment and feeling burdened by things I don’t feel called to do but that I’m stuck doing because I said yes. It’s much more transparent, and true to myself and God, to say no when I mean no and yes only when I genuinely mean yes.

This is a lot like the Virtue of Simplicity, which is an important part of my community’s spirituality. For us simplicity doesn’t just mean modest living, although we believe in that too. Simplicity, as described by our founder Blessed Jean Martin Moye, means being transparent before God and other people. It calls us to be direct and genuine – what you see is what you get – and, as Moye instructed, to let our yes mean yes and our no mean no. It also means seeking God’s glory above anything else, which invites discernment and detachment.

The virtue of simplicity is pretty visible to anyone who spends time with us, and it was one of the first things that endeared me to the community when I was discerning religious life. The sisters were so down-to-earth, and their authenticity made me feel comfortable with them. I still love that about us == we come as we are, and that helps us to take other people as they are. What you see is what you get.

Back to our parable. If we look at it through the lens of simplicity, neither brother seems to be simple at first glance. However, the story is not just about saying yes or no. It’s about obedience. It’s a story Jesus uses to challenge his own religious authorities who were failing to do the will of God. He tells this story and informs them that “tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God before you.” People who lived their lives as a no eventually changed to yes as they turned and followed Jesus. By contrast, religious types, who appeared to say yes to God with their lives, refused to believe the call of John the Baptist (and that of Jesus too), and so their yes was really a no.

What do you make of all this? What I notice is how Jesus challenges the discrepancy between people’s words and actions. Words are just words, but doing God’s will means saying yes when you mean yes and following that with the kinds of actions that also mean yes. And saying no doesn’t necessarily mean people aren’t doing God’s will. If they discern deeply and come up with a call to say no, then letting their no mean no and acting out of that is still doing the will of God.

God is not calling me to be a yes girl. Despite what others think I should do, my responsibility is to discern God’s will with my heart, mind, and conscience. I have a vow of obedience, so I also trust the voice of God speaking through my community. When I feel I understand God’s will, I let my yes mean yes and my no mean no and try to align my actions with my words. Even when authorities in my community, church, or civic community weigh in on what I should do, I have the obligation to discern well and to act out of that. Is this easy? No – I like to say yes, remember? A few times I’ve said no to my own community’s leadership when they invited me to consider something, and that just about did me in. However, I couldn’t find a yes in me no matter how hard I looked, and so I had to say no when I meant no. It’s the same with the larger church. In fact, the Catholic Church teaches something called the primacy of conscience, which means that we are impelled to follow our own conscience, assuming it’s well-formed and well informed, no matter what. Is that easy? No. It means we have to listen to God and search our own souls. It’s easier to just say yes but then do whatever we want or to say yes or no blindly, without discernment. Nevertheless, God calls us to deeper reflection as adults in our faith.

God calls each of us to authenticity, to discernment, to aligning our words and actions. It’s challenging to live this way, but God is with us, guiding and caring for us, whether we say yes, no, or maybe.

For Reflection:

• What is your relationship with yes and no?

• Does your yes means yes and your no mean no?

• Can you trust your own discernment, that you can come to know God’s will for you?

• What helps you to discern well? And can you act upon that which God calls you to do?

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Boards of Spiritual Directors International and Thomas More University. She enjoys music, spicy food, and meaningful conversations.