As far as journeys go, 2020 has been a long, strange trip, hasn’t it. Lord have mercy. I’ve seen memes and news roundups and even a 2020 catastrophe Bingo – all ways to try and make sense of this collective tour of Crazytown. And here we are at the Feast of the Epiphany, and so I’m wondering if it makes sense to relate the journey of our strange year with the journey of the magi, which, if you really look at it, is a little odd too.

So, we have this story of traveling magi. When we sing about them we call them three kings, but Scripture doesn’t give us a number or a gender for them. They’re coming from the “east,” wherever that is, following something in the sky they call a star. We don’t know what it is or what about it catches their attention and entices them to follow it. Also, we don’t know why they “arrive in Jerusalem,” when they clearly know the Christ is to be born in Bethlehem. In fact, why do these gentiles know where the Christ is to be born and the Jews in the story, who should know their own prophesies, do not? Anyway . . . they do arrive in Jerusalem and cause a kerfuffle, and the jealous King Herod plies them for information and secretly plots to kill the newborn king they seek. BUT! Never fear. An angel comes to them in a dream and lets them know that Herod is bad and tells them to find another way home. And, so, that’s what they do.

I told you it was a weird story. Or, maybe I’m just reading it through the lens of the weirdness of 2020. I’m not going to walk back through it – I just can’t – because there was just so much! And here we are at the dawn of 2021, waking up with much of the same weirdness at play as there was on December 31st. It would be great to have a star to lead us out of the pandemic, wouldn’t it? However, that’s not how a star functions, at least in the story of the magi. The star leads the wise people toward something, not away from it. They move away from Herod, the oppressor, the trauma-inflictor, and toward the star, toward Christ. All the while that they’re moving away from evil, they’re guided forward by a big, obvious sign in the sky that leads them to what, or whom, they’re seeking. They move on from that encounter with Christ by finding another way home, and as they do, they leave Herod in Jerusalem but carry the experience of Christ with them, and it continues to guide them.

Ultimately, what I notice in this story is the movement away from oppression and toward good, and maybe this movement is an invitation for us too. There are some things from 2020 that I want to leave behind. Obviously I want the pandemic to be a thing of the past, with all of the fear and grief, distance and disconnection, uncertainty and poverty it inflicted. But there are also some internal things I want to leave behind – the times when I reacted with despair instead of hope, when I allowed loneliness to shut me down instead of opening me up, when I gave into anxiety instead of trusting. However, there were also times when I did trust. I learned to name intense emotions and just allow them without letting them define or overwhelm me. I learned to take some initiative and build community as a reaction to loneliness. I found some strength I didn’t know I had. I found a surprising resilience. I found some new connections and made some reconnections and deepened some friendships. I noticed hope when there was no real cause to hope, except for God, the cause of all hope. These were my unexpected positive side effects of a pandemic. These were God’s graces. I want to these to lead me forward into 2021, and I believe if I continue to pursue them, I’ll be following God’s call too.

We don’t have a big, obvious sign in the sky inviting us forward, and we may not have angels advising us in our sleep, but we are wise people too. If we look carefully, we can notice the subtle signs of God leading us. As we move away from despair and anxiety and toward compassion, connection, and love, we are following God. Like the magi, we carry our Christ experiences with us as we discern how to go forward.

What are the stars that you are following? What leads you toward Christ? What are some of your unexpected positive side effects of a pandemic?

And what trauma or struggle do you need to move away from and leave behind?

 By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.

(By the way, if you don’t like the epiphany metaphor, here’s another one: If 2020 was a piñata and you could hit it with a bat, it would likely be very gratifying. And, as it broke apart into a bunch of pieces until it was all lying on the ground, which parts of it would you bring with you as you move forward?)