This week’s Second Reading assures us that we are “children of the light and children of the day.” In this context, being in the light means being prepared for the coming of Christ. Christ will come “like a thief in the night,” but since we’re of the day, we’ll be awake and ready. So, being in the light means being prepared, but it can have a lot of other meanings as well. When I started reflecting on this reading, I assumed I’d explore what it means to be in the light, but as it turns out, God drew me to reflect on darkness instead. It’s funny how God works.

I appreciate the sentiment to walk in the light, but lately, as the days get shorter and darker, at least in the Northern Hemisphere, light is hard to come by. When we moved the clocks back an hour, I read an article that suggested that we probably feel better with this shift in time, even though it seems to bring more darkness. Although we might enjoy more afternoon light with Daylight Savings Time, having so much light at night messes with our circadian rhythm. We aren’t meant to be in the light all the time.

More and more, I don’t mind the darkness. During the pandemic, I kind of gave myself permission to hibernate a bit. There’s nothing wrong with putting your pajamas on at 6 p.m. if it’s dark and you’re staying home anyway, right? There was something comforting about that darkness. Also, some years ago I read Learning to Walk in the Dark by Barbara Brown Taylor, and that shifted how I think about darkness and light as it relates to life and faith. She talks about the penchant most Christians have for promoting light over darkness. We do see that a lot in Scripture, don’t we? And we say things like, “the light of eternity,” and “the light of Christ.”  However, light isn’t everything, and she makes a case for moving away from that kind of “solar powered Christianity” and turning toward God in the darkness. She explores physical darkness, literally, in a cave, but she talks about metaphorical and spiritual darkness too.

A few years ago, I used Learning to Walk in the Dark during Advent with a group of young adult women, and a coworker of mine said, “That’s a great book, but it won’t work with your young adult group. It’s a midlife book.” It turned out, though, that it resonated with all of us. Advent, which is now just around the corner, is a season in which we wait in darkness as we anticipate the coming of Christ. The light grows with our Advent candles each week, but it’s a season that invites us to be in the darkness and to befriend it a bit. I find it kind of soothing, actually. In my book group, the young women felt called to embrace the darkness in their lives too. Our younger years can seem full of light and energy, but that might only be in hindsight. Not that younger people don’t enjoy themselves, but facing a future full of uncertainty is hard. I remember that myself. I’ve also accompanied a lot of college students and young adults, and much of what they wrestle with is uncertainty about the future and a fear of making choices in the present that will negatively impact their lives in the future. That can feel like darkness.

I don’t think the darkness of uncertainty is reserved for the young, either. I feel it too as I look at aging family members and wonder about their care and look ahead to the unknown future of my community and my own life too. If the path forward was known, if it was cast in full daylight, and we could see what was coming, well, that might be easier. Or, maybe not. If I knew the hard things that were coming, I might turn and run the other way. The thing is, we can try to walk in the light as best as we can. We can live upright lives in a stance of listening to God and following God’s call. Of course we can, and most of us do that most of the time. But what about the times when we’re surrounded by darkness, when we don’t know the way forward, or when the darkness is sadness or grief? Or what about when the flavor of darkness is none of these things, but just a void — not a bad void but a Dark Night of the Soul, when there’s just kind of an empty space where God used to be? It’s not depression or anxiety; it’s just nothing.

Well, I believe God’s there too, in all kinds of darkness, whether it’s comforting darkness or painful darkness or a void. God’s there every bit as much as God is when we walk in full daylight. The psalmist, too, recognizes this about God’s presence. “If I say, ‘Surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light’ — Darkness is not dark to you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one” (Psalm 139).

God is everywhere that we are. God is wherever we’ve been. God is wherever we’re going. We might distinguish light and darkness, but God is always fully present with us, showing us how to navigate the darkness and the light. Even though I hear what Paul is saying about being children of the day, I know that we regularly, cyclically move through nighttime too. And that’s normal. And we can be prepared to recognize and welcome Christ’s presence in darkness and in the light.

There’s a song called “Night Vision” by Suzanne Vega that really speaks to me of how God is present to me in the dark. It’s how I understand Providence, actually. The voice in the song is an adult soothing a child who’s afraid of the dark. She helps the child to navigate the dark by naming the things in the room so that the little one can recognize all that’s familiar, even through the haze of darkness. She can’t keep darkness away — it’s a natural part of life that just comes and goes. However, she can show the child how to be in darkness, so there’s no fear or resistance. It’s a lovely, tender song, and I think of God singing it to me, to all of us trying to find our way through darkness:

For Reflection:

•  Where is the light in your life right now? How are you finding God in it?

• Where is the darkness? How do you navigate darkness? How is God in the darkness with you?

• Do you live in a stance of attentiveness to the presence of Christ? What helps you to be prepared to recognize the movement of God in your life?

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She enjoys music, dancing, spicy food, and meaningful conversations.