Here we are at Gaudete Sunday, the Sunday of joy. And, since Christmas falls on a Monday this year, making our 4th Sunday of Advent also Christmas Eve, this is our last full week before Christmas. Sit with that for a minute! I do not feel ready. I also feel more stress than joy right now. Is joy how I’m supposed to feel? Can I manufacture that feeling on command?

I don’t think so, although I do think people try to manufacture joy and other good feelings. We do so with good intentions but sometimes unhealthy methods, through substances or food or shopping or — pick your poison. As a sister on a vow-of-poverty budget, I’m not much into retail therapy, which is good, but I was reflecting on this after a recent shopping expedition. I was at St. Vincent de Paul, and I found a purple sweater. I’m church-nerdy enough to like to dress for liturgical seasons, so I was happy to find some Advent attire. And happier still — this sweater was on the clearance rack, which meant it was $1.50. Yeeesssss! There’s nothing that can make my nunny heart sing more than a clearance item that I can really use, not just during Advent, but throughout the winter. Practical, cheap, decent looking, and sustainably purchased – these things check all my boxes. Although my nunny heart was singing, though, I had to ask myself — is that joy? No, I don’t think so.

However, it’s easy to mistake purple sweater satisfaction for joy. I think a lot of us are seeking joy in a variety of places and not finding it. Just think of all the movies about the perfect Christmas. It’s easy to have high expectations that we should have a perfect Christmas every year. That’s hard. I fall into that every year too, not just hoping for a perfect Christmas, but hoping to experience as an adult the feeling of raw joy I had as a child on Christmas. I’m not going to experience that, though. Why? Because different things bring me joy now, and I don’t think any of them can be manufactured.

One thing I can lean into, but not manufacture, is time spent with people. That does bring me joy. Fresh in my mind and heart are the Christmases of the past few years in which no one could gather, or we did gather but felt like we were risking our lives. Now I don’t take being with my family for granted like I used to. It’s the same with my community. Although I’ve always appreciated our gatherings, being separated for a time means that now our assemblies feel particularly sacred. I don’t necessarily have high expectations; I’m just excited to be able to be together with my people. That’s enough to bring me joy.

My joy in this is genuine, but it does come with a hint of bittersweet. Besides being so grateful to be able to gather again after the pandemic, some of it comes from the realization that people won’t be here forever. As a child it’s easy to assume things will stay the same forever, and in my memory, every Christmas of my childhood was the same. The reality is, though, every one of them was unique. By now I’ve experienced enough change to know that life is always shifting and moving. There’s some sadness in bittersweet, but there’s also joy. Memories themselves can be that way too — sadness for times and people gone by, but also joy and gratitude for their presence.

As I reflect on the complexity of human joy, it occurs to me that it’s a bit fleeting. We can’t create it ourselves, nor can we sustain it indefinitely. No feeling, good nor bad, lasts forever. In fact, humans are so complicated that we can feel a multiplicity of emotions all at once. Hence, the feeling of bittersweet. Is there another kind of joy, though, that’s more than just an emotion? Our reading from Isaiah suggests that there is.

I rejoice heartily in the LORD,
in my God is the joy of my soul . . .
As the earth brings forth its plants,
and a garden makes its growth spring up,
so will GOD make justice and praise
spring up before all the nations.

It seems that there’s a particular kind of joy that comes from God. When God is the “joy of my soul,” well, that kind of joy is more than just a feeling. It’s something deep within. And how is it realized? It comes from following God’s will.

The speaker of the passage also says,

The spirit of God is upon me,
because God has anointed me;
God has sent me to bring glad tidings to the poor,
to heal the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives
and release to the prisoners,
to announce a year of favor from the LORD
and a day of vindication by our God.

So, doing God’s will brings joy, and what does God’s will look like? Service. Bringing hope to others. Healing. Bringing about justice. Working for the fulfillment of God’s loving, compassionate presence on earth as it is in heaven. Turning over the wealth and power of the privileged in favor of the poor and lowly, like Mary sings about in her canticle. God’s will looks like a seat at the table for all of us. It looks like peace so deep that it’s felt even in the animal kingdom as the lion and the lamb lie down together, described in another passage from Isaiah. There’s a gentleness on the earth rather than violence, and there’s peace in our hearts rather than resentment and bitterness and anxiety.

Isn’t that what we’ve been talking about all through this Advent? Ultimately, isn’t that what we’re longing for in the depth of our hearts, minds, and souls? I know that’s my longing. Where I find my longing and the fulfillment of it, even in little pieces every now and then, that’s also where I experience the joy of my soul. How about you?  

Purple sweater notwithstanding, soul joy can only come from God. And that’s good news. God extends joy to us in abundance, just as God continues to call us and call us and call us to service and justice, healing and consoling. God calls us to do our little piece to bring about peace, and as we serve God and each other, we’ll find our joy.

I wish you peace and joy through this last little bit of Advent. May we savor each moment, even the bittersweet ones.  

For Reflection:

• What’s bringing you joy right now?

• What does doing God’s will look like in your life right now? Do you feel a sense of joy about it? And where is God in it?

• What is stirring within you as you enter this third week of Advent? Maybe you could just spend some time sharing about it with God and seeing what God has to say to you.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Board of Directors of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and funny family photos (of which her family has a few).