Is Your Heart Slow or Burning Within You?
/“Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?”
You know, even though I love spicy food, I’ve never had heartburn. Even so, I know what the disciples mean when they say their hearts were burning within them. When I notice God’s presence, it does feel like a warmth inside my heart or a stirring in my gut. Sometimes God’s presence gives me a shiver of recognition. At other times it’s not something I feel bodily but notice in my mind, like a sudden inspiration or opening to a new idea. Sometimes it’s an emotion, like joy or awe or surprise. When I recognize God, I react with tears or smiles or laughter. If it seems like God is calling me to do something, I start making plans.
The disciples on the road to Emmaus are essentially running away from the drama. While their companions are hiding, they’re on the run. They’re experiencing a wide range of emotions – sadness, disappointment, fear – and maybe they’re running from those feelings too. We tend to think of emotions as being in the heart, and if that’s the case, then their hearts are pumped full of intense feelings. I find it somewhat odd, then, that as Christ joins them on the road and hears all the feelings they express, he calls them “slow of heart.” For Christ, it’s not feelings that live in the heart but belief. They may have a multitude of feelings racing through them, but they’re slow of heart because they don’t believe.
In all fairness, never did they ever expect to encounter the risen Christ there on the road. In fact, since he died, they never expect to encounter him again at all. No wonder it takes them a while to recognize him; even though their hearts are burning all the while he walks with them, it takes them time to name what’s happening. Their hearts move from slow to burning, just by being with Christ, walking with him, and listening. I don’t think it’s unusual that they misunderstand what’s going on. It takes practice to learn to recognize God’s presence. It can also take time to figure out how to respond, but these disciples take no time to figure that out. They turn around and rush all the way back to Jerusalem to rejoin their community.
In these pandemic days of distancing and missing so many people, you’d think it would be hard to notice the presence of God. Some days it is, and I know I’m slow of heart, slow to believe. However, there are other times when I find that God is very much with me. I feel a wide range of intense emotions: restless, cranky, anxious, sad, but also joy, gratitude, and hope. God can be present through all of these feelings, and if I pause and reflect, I can find God there. Also, even though I am physically distant from people, I still find God in my encounters with others. I’m meeting with people for spiritual direction through video chat now, and although I’d rather meet in person, it’s amazing how God is present to us in that virtual but sacred space. I notice God’s presence my small groups too. The intimacy I find as we meet online kind of surprised me at first. I expected something to be missing, but although I miss each person in my group, there’s nothing lacking in our sharing. Christ has promised to be present where two or three are gathered, and as it turns out, Christ is even present when we gather online. We are together virtually, but God is in our midst in very real ways.
It’s easy to be slow of heart now. The pace of the days can be slow, and my heart can be slow to believe that God is with me and that good will come out of this pandemic. And yet, there are moments when my heart burns within me. God is present here. I hope I can be like the disciples on the road to Emmaus – honest, present, perceptive, and responsive to the presence of Christ. I can hardly wait till all this is over and I can run back to my communities! Until then, I pray that God will help me, and all of us, to find Christ right here.
What about you? What makes your heart slow?
What makes your heart burn?
What is God calling you to during this pandemic time? What is our call as people of faith?
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, meaningful conversations, and community.