Don’t Conform. Transform!

Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.

When I was in college, this quote from Romans really spoke to my heart. At that time, I felt immense pressure to conform to the culture around me, which told me how to look, how to act, and how to be successful. I tried to be good, and I tried to please a lot of people. I pushed myself to attain the impossible — a perfect body, perfect grades, a perfect social life, and a perfect relationship. I didn’t reach perfection, but I did get very scrupulous. And unhappy. In the midst of my striving for perfection, I was struggling to figure out who I was and who God was. I wanted to “discern what [was] the will of God,” but I didn’t know that I couldn’t discern clearly while looking to everyone else for answers. So, given all that I was working through, these words resonated deeply for me. They reassured me that I didn’t have to contort myself to meet the demands of “this age.” I could look to God for what was “good and pleasing and perfect” instead of trying to be these things myself — especially perfect. There was freedom in that. And such relief!

I’ve grown a lot since then. I’m better at accepting myself as I am, I try not to get so caught up in perfectionism, and I know more about how to discern the will of God. But this age, though! I don’t take its pressures so personally now, but the flavor of this present time sometimes flavors me. In this post-pandemic time, anxiety is in the air we breathe, as are contention and distress. Sometimes these come out as violence, defiance, and resignation. How do we respond out of our faith instead of reacting like that, and how do we keep from being formed by the angst of our time?

We can’t avoid what’s happening around us, and I don’t think that’s our call anyway. Scripture sometimes draws a contrast between the spiritual life and “the world,” but I can’t remember an instance where it tells me to extricate myself from the world. Rather, the call, at least in this reading, is to be in the world but not to let it shape me, or, at least, not allow the culture around me to have the final say in shaping me. The invitation is to allow God to transform me “by the renewal of [my] mind.” I’m not sure how to think my way out of life’s struggles, and if you figure that out, let me know. However, I believe that God can help me to shift my perspective to see things differently, maybe even to see as God does.

One of the ways of describing prayer that resonates deeply for me is “a long, loving look at the real.” That comes from the Jesuit theologian Walter Burghardt, S.J., and it speaks to how we hold the world when we pray — we don’t avoid reality, but we do seek God in whatever is happening. This contemplative stance helps me to love life and events and people (myself included) as they are. God looks lovingly at reality, as it is now and as it’s transforming and becoming. Aligning my gaze with God’s is how I become transformed by the renewal of my mind. Prayer is an act of love and also a stance of sitting still and allowing God to love me. Surrounding myself with God’s love makes me more loving, and in that way, prayer renews my heart as well as my mind.

When you take a long, loving look at the real, what do you see? I notice worry, agitation, and despair radiating from people, but I also see a strong desire for something better than we have now. People protest because they want things to be different and believe they can be. Some people are waking up and beginning to advocate for peace and justice, too. I hope this work brings about racial justice, equity among genders, and a system that honors the dignity of immigrants and people who are economically poor. People seem to be tuned in to politics, and I hope that will translate into voting. My long, loving look at the real shows me that a lot of people care about each other and the common good. There are still those who appear unconcerned about their neighbors, but I think they’re outnumbered.

God’s call is not to conform ourselves to everything happening around us but to allow the vision of God’s kingdom of justice, peace, and love of neighbor to give us hope. God’s will is for us to work to make this vision a lived reality that’s good and pleasing and perfect for everyone. It’s a vision that’s not yet fulfilled, but it glimmers within me and you and us, and it could come forth into this age if we keep working for transformation.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.