I'm Not God (Thanks Be to God)

The readings this Sunday invite me to reflection on the Incarnation, one of the foundations of our faith, one of our deep mysteries. Part of what’s so mysterious about it for me is what it is in us that’s of God and what’s not. I believe that Christ is present in me, in all of us, like Paul, who says, “Christ will be magnified in my body.” In his word “magnified,” I hear an echo of Mary’s song, the one she sings to her cousin to announce the mystery of God incarnating in her, literally taking flesh within her flesh. “My soul magnifies the Lord,” she sings. Her soul magnifies Christ, Paul’s body magnifies Christ, and I want my whole self to magnify Christ too. However, there’s also something in me that doesn’t, that, instead of magnifying, minimizes Christ within me. And then I go my own way and not God’s.

When I’m intentional about noticing, I can see when I’m moving away from God and toward something else. When I can’t see it in myself, I sure can see it in other people, particularly when they’re online. If you don’t believe me, look on Twitter at the comments for a political tweet. Wow. The vitriol that’s unleashed without any seeming discernment or filtering astonishes me. The things that people say and do to each other in real life can also be pretty terrible. There’s the obviously awful, like outright physical and emotion abuse, but then there are more subtle things, like gossip, exclusion, manipulation, and control that are not of God. How can we do these things with God present in us?

God is living within each of us, and yet, we are not God. As God says through the words of Isaiah, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways.” I actually take great comfort from this. God is somewhere within me and you, but God is still God. The fullness of God is other than me or additional to me. I need to be reminded of that, that God is a great Mystery, the omniscient Creator of the universe, that gentle but powerful Presence that cares for me and others in ways that I can’t.

My faith has consistently been a pretty folksy one. I can appreciate high church at Easter, but I have an earthy spirituality that tends to seek good and God in people and creation. Give me a guitar Mass, a walk in the woods, and small group Scripture sharing any day! There’s nothing wrong with seeking God in the commonplace, but if I’m not paying attention, I can become more self-reliant than God-reliant and more humanistic than divine-inspired. I need more of God’s transcendence than I let on, even to myself. The readings this Sunday are an important reminder to me – and maybe to you – that God is God and we are holy but finite. I am a creation and not the Creator. I am a person who judges fairness on my own terms. If I had employees in my care, I would pay them for their time and what they accomplished, unlike God who gives to people in abundance no matter what they have or haven’t done. I need a God like that – who does what God does and not what I would do.

I’m not denying the Incarnation; that’s deeply real to me. I’m just taking a big sigh of relief at the reminder that God is bigger than me. If God is within me but also grander than me, than all of us, than the universe, then I have somewhere outside of myself to find God. I have somewhere to seek when I’m in need and feeling the limits of my very insufficient humanity. It’s with great encouragement that I pray with Isaiah:

“See the Lord while God may be found,
Call to God while God is near.
Let the wicked forsake their way,
The sinners their thoughts;
Let them turn to the Lord to find mercy;
To our God, who is generous in forgiving. ”

• What about you? Where do you seek and find God?

• Do you tend to find God in other people, yourself, and the world, and, like me, have to be reminded every now and then that God transcends all of this?

• Do you tend to find God at a distance, as the Creator of the Universe, and do you need to be reminded that God dwells in you and in other people too? How do you magnify Christ within you?

Together may be open to wherever and however God finds us, and may we respond by magnifying Christ with our whole selves.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.