Belonging Wherever We Are

This Sunday’s readings are about leprosy and also more than leprosy, and they called me to reflect on the universal human experiences of exclusion and belonging. I’m sure people found ways to reject each other before there was leprosy, but this is marginalization of biblical proportions – it occurs all through Scripture. Once people were declared unclean because of leprosy, they also became outcasts in their communities. “The one who bears the sore of leprosy shall keep his garments rent and his head bare, and shall . . . cry out, ‘Unclean, unclean!’ . . . He shall dwell apart, making his abode outside the camp.” So, in the Gospel, when Jesus heals the person with leprosy, he doesn’t just cure him of the disease; Jesus restores his place in the community. No wonder he can’t keep quiet. When you go from being an outcast to belonging again, how can you not shout it from the rooftops?

Often times with passages like this, I’ve reflected on who in our day are the excluded and marginalized ones. It’s easier to take on the perspective of the one who, like Jesus, seeks to restore people’s dignity and to promote God’s kingdom of inclusion. This time, though, my heart was with the person with leprosy, and I was moved to consider my own challenges to fit in. I was born into plenty of privilege, and I tend to get along with people, but there’s also something in me that has struggled to feel like I belong. I thought I was the only one who felt like this, but then, at a community assembly some years ago, the issue of belonging came up. Some sisters expressed their struggles to feel accepted, and some others posed the question, in an asking-for-a-friend kind of way, “How can we be more inclusive?” I was surprised and touched by this vulnerable conversation. As the youngest sister, I’m often aware of how different I am compared to the rest of my community. I didn’t go to school with sisters or have a formation class to belong to. We don’t share taste in music or clothing or TV shows. I learned that it’s not just me, though; other people struggle too, and so maybe belonging to each other is about more than having things in common. And I suspect that feeling a sense of belonging is also a challenge for people in the wider world outside religious community. As it turns out, there might be a little leper in a lot of us.

What is it about the human condition that longs for belonging but also runs away from it, or has it but doesn’t recognize it?

Now, to be sure, there are instances of genuine exclusion. The rejection of lepers was a reality, not just a feeling. In our day, racism and heterosexism, xenophobia, and the cycle of poverty, among other systems of oppression, exclude people from both belonging and necessary resources. In our workplaces, families, and communities there are people who, out of their own brokenness, ostracize others. There are Mean Girls in every school and bullies in every workplace. However, although we can and should work against systems and people who dominate and exclude, doing so won’t heal the thing inside so many of us that feels like we don’t belong.

This reminds me of a quote from an episode of Brené Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast that resonated so strongly that I wrote it down and have come back to it often since I heard it. She says, “We have got to stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that we don’t belong. We will always find it because we’ve made it our mission.” Quoting from her book Braving the Wilderness, she defines true belonging as “the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.” So, belonging is not about fitting in; it’s about being the person God created me to be. No one else can call the shots on that kind of belonging; it’s up to me. That’s hard work, and I need a little help from God to get there. There’s a prayer that’s important to my community called “The Act of Abandonment to Divine Providence,” and when I pray it, I ask God, “bring me into the fullness of being that you have destined for me from all eternity.” The more that I, and we, live and grow into the fullness of being to which God calls us, the more we belong to God and ourselves. When we belong like that, we’ll find belonging wherever we go.

So, back to our friend recently cured of leprosy. After he proves that he’s healed and resumes his place in the community, reconnecting with friends and loved ones, what then? It seems to me that he has work to do. He has to stop thinking of himself as a leper and believe in his own belonging. He has to live into the fullness of being to which God calls him, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spirituality as well. Our call is to do the same.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Leslie is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.