Is God in Our Midst or Not?

I hate to admit it, but the First Reading is like looking into a mirror. Moses has moved the people from slavery to freedom, but all they do is complain. “Is the LORD in our midst or not?” This was totally me as a novice. When I was discerning the call to religious life I felt very close to God, but then, bam! Following that call landed me into the quiet of the novitiate, and it was so quiet! I felt isolated and disconnected from God. My first response was to complain. “How could you lead me here, God, and then just abandon me like this?” In my uncertainty and discontent, it was easy to blame God for my own unhappiness.

Since then I’ve noticed that my spiritual life has its natural ups and downs. When I stop complaining I can accept what’s going on and notice God’s movement. One of our small groups at God Space is using the book Holy Envy: Finding God in the Faith of Others by Barbara Brown Taylor, and we recently learned about the Buddhist understanding of suffering. Suffering is “so often a measure of how much we want things to be different from the way they are” (47). Our “desire for pain-free lives” is the problem, and the sooner we stop resisting and accept things the way they are, the sooner we’ll ease our suffering (47). Much of my unhappiness it is in my own head – how I think about the circumstances of my life. When I resist, complain, deny, and wish things were different, I only increase my unhappiness. When I accept what is and become present to it, I eventually find God. As a novice, I finally accepted the quiet of the space and the struggles I was working through, and I could see that God was, in fact, with me.

Christianity has some different beliefs about suffering, but even so, Christ calls us to be present to what is, not resisting but seeking God in all things. In fact, that’s what I see Jesus doing as he talks with the woman at the well in the Gospel. Like the people in the first reading, the woman is thirsty, but unlike them, she’s not complaining. She does have some questions, though: Why is a Jew asking her for a drink? How can he give her living water if he doesn’t have a bucket? Who is this guy? She doesn’t know who he is, but he knows her. He knows she’s been married and rejected several times, since in that society women were powerless and only a man could leave a marriage. He knows she’s marginalized in the community, since she’s there alone at noon. He knows her, and she lets herself be known, not denying, not hiding. Both of them are present to the reality of her life and circumstances. And then Jesus allows her to know him for who he really is – the messiah, the Christ, the one who is to come. As she moves from their encounter to call the community to come and see, she becomes more than who she was. She becomes a prophet and a disciple. He stirs up hope in her, and she is changed.

Our Second Reading assures us that “hope does not disappoint,” but as the coronavirus wreaks havoc in our communities, it’s hard to trust that. The cancelation of events is disappointing, and not knowing how the virus will affect loved ones and neighbors is scary. I don’t know about you, but I’ve already spent plenty of time wishing things were different. However, I notice that when I stop wishing and accept what is, I am better able to deal with circumstances and seek God in them. We can’t see the spread of the virus, but we also can’t yet see the good that God will certainly bring, because creating life from death, hope from despair, and light from darkness is what God does. Maybe neighbors will band together to care for vulnerable people in our communities, and in fact, I’ve already seen that happening. Maybe we’ll use the time apart from close contact with people for Sabbath time, and we’ll rest and read and garden. Maybe we’ll get creative about how we connect with people, using technology to communicate. It could be that I’m just being naïve, but it also might be that it’s hope stirring in me, which is a gift from God.

We are imperfect and circumstances are hard, but God loves us anyway. God is present to the reality of who we are. God is certainly in our midst. When we are present to reality instead of resisting, we catch a glimpse of who God is. We open to God, and we allow God to make us more: compassionate caregivers, thoughtful neighbors, faithful disciples.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, meaningful conversations, and seeking God in all things.