God Looks Into the Heart
/“Not as people see does God see, because people see the appearance but the LORD looks into the heart.”
This is so relevant that it kind of takes my breath away. I often see only appearances. There are just so many illusions that I buy into. However, my call is to see as God does – beneath appearances into the heart of things.
As this time of social distancing and sheltering in place has stretched on and on, it’s hard to look past illusion into reality. I find myself on social media even more than before because it feels like a way to connect during this time of restricted contact. It can build connection, but it can also distort reality. Some people curate the lives they present social media, and so the images they share have nothing to do with what’s in their hearts; it’s all image with no substance. It seems so real, though, that I take it at face value. It’s not just social media that’s full of superficial images, but it’s also the assumptions I make about other people, which are really just images in my mind. When you’re mostly alone, it’s easy to picture families and how much fun they must be having playing games, sharing meals, and watching movies. I also picture people in large communities praying, sharing, and bonding together. The reality, though, is that I don’t know what others’ experiences are unless I talk with them. The grass is always greener, as they say, but the greenness of the grass is an illusion.
Besides images, what I’ve come to recognize as an illusion is my response to them and to this whole situation. I’ve had some community connection during this time, but it’s been much less than I’m used to. There are moments when I feel alone. Despair comes and taps on my door, and all too often, I let it in. However, despair is an illusion too. It does not come from God. The reality is that I do have friends and family and community, and they haven’t gone anywhere. God is with me too. Despair is a bad spirit, and I need to work against it rather than taking it in.
God sees into our hearts also knows the why of things that we can’t know. We encounter that in the gospel about the man born blind. Why was he born that way? And why can he see now? Is it because of sin? The religious authorities weigh in about the why of that situation, and there’s a lot of blaming, accusing, and trying to diminish Jesus. They fail to see beyond appearances, and so they’re blind to the presence of God. Jesus says that the man’s blindness is not because of sin but so that “the works of God might be made visible through him” (Jn 9:3). For people who are receptive to what Jesus shows them, God is revealed in the blind man’s new vision. It’s all in how they choose to see.
I want to be someone who sees as God does, who sees beyond appearances to the heart of things, even if I don’t know why circumstances are the way they are. Blaming, accusing, and diminishing, as well as assuming, do not help me to notice God’s presence. It’s not necessarily about why something’s happening but about how I recognize God working with it. It’s about discerning how God is calling me to respond to it.
The coronavirus is no one’s fault, and although I don’t know why the pandemic is happening, there is a continued call in it. How can I act in ways that go deeper than mere appearances? Well, for one thing, I can allow this situation to deepen my self-reflection. Why has this time alone sometimes evoked sadness when the solitude of my yearly retreat does not? What’s happening in me that invites despair to come knocking? Avoiding my feelings doesn’t help, and taking a deeper look won’t hurt. I’ll invite God into my reflection, and God won’t let me disappear into the abyss. Then, whenever despair shows up, I can send it packing and move outside myself. I can allow loneliness to motivate me to connect with people by phone, text, letter, or video chat. I might bond even more deeply with people and make new connections. Another call I hear is to allow this time of solitude to draw me nearer to God, the Holy One, the heart of my heart. God always seeks connection with me, and God, who understands my heart, knows that I seek God too. Why not use this time to deepen my prayer?
The thing is, God always shelters in place. God goes out to the far reaches of the universe, but God also dwells within each of our hearts. As we shelter in place, we can look within ourselves and see how God is doing the same thing – sheltering in the place within us.
How about you? How have you responded to all of the cancellations and staying at home?
What feelings arise in you?
How can you stay connected with loved ones and those in most need of connection right now?
When you look at your thoughts and feelings, the circumstances of your life, and even deeper, beyond appearances, where is God?
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations. Sheltering in place, not so much.