Jesus Walked on Water, but We Don't Want to

There’s a coffeehouse in Covington, Kentucky that used to have signs on the bathroom stalls that said: “Please don’t flush paper towels; Jesus walked on water, but we don’t want to.”

I still laugh every time I think of that! It’s so clever. Jesus didn’t exactly make a practice of walking on water, but the image of him doing so certainly sticks in our imaginations, and it’s so striking that it’s captured in several Gospel accounts. Walking on water is what I tend to focus on in this Sunday’s Gospel too. Now, though, what I notice is the fear. There’s fear woven all through this story. Maybe I see it so clearly now because of the pandemic. We’re surrounded by fear too.

In response to fear, Jesus says simply, “Take courage, it is I; don’t be afraid.” I hear that, but how do you stop being afraid when you just are afraid – and for good reason?

I don’t know. When I feel fear, it’s really hard to change course and stop being afraid. However, it does help to examine the fear a bit. What exactly am I afraid of? Is it a rational fear? If it is, I may be able to take precautions to make myself safe or remedy the situation. If I can’t do that, at least I can acknowledge what’s making me afraid. That does kind of help. If I’m dealing with a fear of something that could happen but probably won’t, I can recognize it and ground myself back in reality. A “what-if” is a projection of anxiety, and it’s not from God.

Regarding fear in this Gospel, I always thought the disciples were afraid of the storm. However, that’s not what this account from Matthew says. It doesn’t even mention a storm – just waves and wind. Jesus leaves his solitary prayer (we’re not told why) and comes to them by walking on the sea. When they see him, the disciples are scared of him. It’s not the situation but Jesus that makes them afraid. They don’t recognize him. Even when he identifies himself, Peter doesn’t believe him. He says, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” This sounds like a test, which is weird. Why put yourself in peril to check if it’s Jesus? Well, Peter’s not known for his sensibility, so he leaves the boat and steps onto the water. It’s then that he becomes aware of his vulnerability, balanced on a liquid, not a solid. Also, now he’s sure it’s Jesus. As he sinks, he calls out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus does save him, but also questions his faith. I always thought that was related to his fear of drowning, but now I’m not so sure. I wonder if Jesus says, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” because Peter was afraid of Jesus and had to test him in order to believe.

In terms of my own fear, I never want to be afraid of God, and I don’t want to live with a generalized fear and distrust of life either. Situational fear is one thing. Fearing job loss or sending your kids back to school in a pandemic is real. We can’t help being afraid of things that may be perilous or cause harm to our loved ones. There’s a reason we get scared in a dark alley or when we hear a strange noise in the night. In dangerous situations, it’s actually good to be afraid; we react in flight or fright for our own protection. But being afraid because I can’t recognize or trust the presence of God is something else.

Jesus walked on water, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to say with Peter, “if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” I want to be able to trust God when the wind kicks up and the waves get big. I don’t know about you, but I want to stay in the boat and allow Jesus to come to me across the water or in whatever way Jesus wants to get to me. Maybe in scary situations there’s no way to not be afraid. However, it is comforting to know that Jesus wants to be in the boat with us, whether that stops the waves or not.

 By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Coordinating Council of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.