Fire, Wind, and Spiritual Adulting
/
Happy Pentecost! It’s so easy to get caught up in the drama of this feast – the driving wind and tongues of fire and different languages proclaiming the Gospel. But underneath the drama and excitement is an invitation, and I don’t want to miss it.
I made my religious vows on the vigil of Pentecost, and I did get caught up in the excitement of that day. I was delighted that sisters, friends, and family all came to the ceremony and the reception that followed. My mom is an artist, and we had flame decorations on each table and throughout the whole room. It was a time of laughter and joy, feasting and dancing. I felt like I was on fire with excitement and passion. I shot out of bed the next day with that same lingering excitement and zeal, and it lasted for the next few days too. I can see why, in the Pentecost story, people thought the disciples were drunk. I wonder if the disciples felt a little drunk, a little destabilized, a little giddy. Right after my Pentecost vows, I certainly felt that way.
And then one day I woke up and thought – now what?
So much anticipation had gone into the vow celebration that I hadn’t thought a lot about what would come next — the rest of my life — so the time following the ceremony felt more like crash-and-burn than exhilarating Pentecostal fire. When the flames and strong winds subside, what do you do then? I eventually settled into ordinary life and learned to pay attention to the movement of the Spirit in its everyday expressions, but it took me a minute to settle down.
I wonder if the disciples felt like that. They gathered to celebrate Pentecost, the Jewish feast that commemorates fifty days after Passover, which we celebrate fifty days after Easter. Their celebration was all – whoosh! Tongues of fire and wind! They were so filled with the Holy Spirit that they could talk to anyone and everyone. Wow!
But then they woke up on the 51st or 52nd day after Easter. Now what?
After the wind and fire and proclamations, many people were baptized. Then, in Acts, we hear what their communal life was like. They prayed together each day, and their community grew. I’m guessing each one of them grew too, as they learned what listening to the Holy Spirit meant. It was a whole new way of being a disciple – following the Spirit within and not that guy from Galilee named Jesus.
It seems to me that the invitation Pentecost offers is to transition to a phase of spiritual adulting. “Adulting” means doing the things that responsible grownups do that they didn’t have to as children. So, adulting in the secular context looks like paying the bills and getting an oil change and mowing the grass. Spiritual adulting looks like discerning the movement of the Spirit and then acting on what it prompts us to do. It’s me figuring out how to live vowed life after making vows or a newly married couple figuring out how to build a life together and live each ordinary day. It’s figuring out what God is calling each of us to do without having the historical Jesus there to sit down and tell us.
Sometimes spiritual adulting makes me feel like I did on the brink of chronological adulthood – scared and unsure as I peered into the giant mystery of my future. Yikes! But here’s the thing: the Spirit does move. It always does. Just when I think I’m at an impasse or I don’t have a clue what to do next or things seem impossible, the Spirit moves, and something shifts or becomes clear. It may not look like tongues of fire, but it might look like a new connection with someone or an invitation that pops up that I feel I need to try. It might not sound like preaching in my own language, but it might sound like a call back after a job interview or something someone happens to say that speaks right to my heart. It may not feel like a strong wind, but it might feel like positive energy that moves me from within toward something new, toward doing the thing that scares me, even though it scares me, because I know I’m called to do it. Or, it may look like the clear next step or even a basic ordinary prayer that I do day in and day out — no tongues of fire, just a gentle presence.
Regular adulting can be hard. It can be a pain. It can be ordinary. And yet, we do it. Why? Because we’re grown and growing. It’s what we do. Spiritual adulting is the same. It can be hard and painful, but it’s how we grow and learn and change. God loves us as we are but rarely leaves us alone to stay the same. God is always calling us to that edge where we have to risk and leap and trust. I don’t know about you, but I don’t always want to live on the edge like this. But I’m here for it. Ultimately, I do want to follow the invitation of the Spirit because I want to grow into the person God is calling me to be. How about you?
We are the Church of the Spirit, the Church that calls ourselves, and maybe each other, to spiritual adulting. So, let’s stay open. Let’s listen. Let’s trust the Spirit to speak to us and through us. Let’s let it move us.
Amen.
For Reflection:
What was it like for you as you moved from adolescence into adulthood? How did you grow into it? What helped you?
How have you grown and changed and matured spiritually throughout your life?
How do you respond when the Spirit calls you, especially if it calls you to something challenging or risky or edgy? What helps you to say yes?
Maybe you could spend a little time reflecting with God. What does God have to say to you?
And if you feel like dancing with the Spirit, here’s something to get you moving!
My parents and I at my first vows, the vigil of pentecost.
By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP
Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Board of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, meaningful conversations, and dancing.