Gratitude and Desire

Welcome to the first Sunday of Advent, this lovely season of waiting in joyful hope. This can be a busy time, but even so, I hope we can really take this time and relish it, invite a bit of stillness, take in the growing light in the darkness.

This Sunday, in addition to the message of the Gospel to prepare for the coming of Christ, what I hear is a deep yearning for God and also gratitude for all that God has already done. The First Reading begs God to draw near the people. “Return, for the sake of your servants, the tribes of your heritage. Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down.” The speaker acknowledges the mistakes of the people, but also expresses a deep desire for God. Yes, we messed up, but God, you love us, so come to us anyway. The Second Reading, though, has an entirely different tone. Paul writes to the community of Corinth, “I give thanks to my God always on your account for the grace of God bestowed on you in Christ Jesus.” The tone is encouraging, loving, and grateful. Thank God for you and your faith, and you can trust that God will keep you faithful as you prepare for the coming of Christ.

So, what do we do with these two different attitudes? Aren’t longing and gratitude opposed to each other? They kind of seem like they are. When someone is yearning, they might be so focused on wanting more that they can be unappreciative of what they already have. Also, gratitude is nice, but what if a person is genuinely in need? It’s pretty insensitive to say to someone in need, just be grateful for what you have. And aren’t we all longing for more — more love, happiness, peace, and more of God? If we ignore our longings and just try to be grateful, aren’t we slipping into false positivity rather than genuine gratitude? As I reflect on these dispositions, it seems like they’re both a little incomplete on their own, and maybe they actually work in tandem to keep us in balance. I wonder if desire can keep our gratitude from becoming simple complacency, and gratitude can keep us from becoming selfish and entitled when it comes to our desire.

Something that taught me a little about the relationship between gratitude and desire is a book on women’s leadership called Wolfpack by Abby Wambach, the two-time gold medalist Olympic soccer player. She names several “old rules” for women leaders and reframes them into new possibilities. For instance, she says the old rule was for women to simply be grateful for what they had, but that prevented them from reaching for more. The new rule is to be grateful but also ambitious. She writes, “Be grateful and brave; be grateful and righteous; be grateful and persistent; be grateful and loud. Be grateful for what you have and demand what you deserve.” In a world that undervalues women in the workplace, this seems like good advice, but what about how it might apply to the spiritual life?

Gratitude and ambition, or longing, can work together, and sometimes I can experience both at the same time. Although I could stand to be grateful more often, forcing it implies that I should also be satisfied, and sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I’m grateful but also yearning for more – more love, justice, community – and thankfulness on its own can silence my desires. On the other hand, ambition without gratitude can easily move to greed and entitlement, which are not virtues, of course. Gratitude paired with desire for more out of life, though, is definitely spiritual. Both desire and gratitude come from God, and God uses them together to speak to me. 

These two spiritual stances are how I experienced God calling me to religious life. At the time, I wasn’t trying to discern a vocation. I didn’t just sit down one day and think, oh gosh, I’d better sort this out. Instead, I was wrestling through a confusing and beautiful time of spiritual growth and trying to understand the deep, restless yearning within me. I was grateful for God’s presence, but I was also unsatisfied. There was something in me that wanted more than minimal involvement in my faith. I wanted to make my relationship with God entirely central to my life. When I started looking at religious life, I realized that if I moved in that direction, I could have a fulfilling spiritual life and a community of people who also wanted God at their center. As I think about it, this wasn’t an isolated instance. Every time I’ve changed ministries or moved or initiated a group or event, I was grateful but also driven. God was the still, small voice in my heart and the Spirit pushing on my back, moving me forward.

This interplay of gratitude and longing is how people stay centered in God and also bring about change. Ignatius of Loyola desired more and instructed his followers to pay close attention to their desires. Jesuits call this yearning magis, or more. It doesn’t pertain to wanting more stuff but, rather, wanting more God, and giving oneself to God in a deeper way. I also think of the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr. God showed him the mountain top and pushed him toward it. I think of Catherine of Sienna who wanted more for her church, Teresa of Avila who wanted more for her community, and Simone Campbell who wanted more for our country. I think of a whole litany of Sisters and Associates in my community whose desire pushes them to serve marginalized people and advocate for justice. I think of Jesus himself whose desire for the coming of the Kingdom burned so deeply within him that he cried out, “I have come to set the earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!” (Lk 12:49). Each of these people was probably grateful, but each was also brave, righteous, persistent, loud, and desiring more. They were thankful and unsatisfied. Their gratitude kept them rooted in God, and their dissatisfaction drove them to work for more.

We can be grateful for what we have and want more. I’m grateful for my communities, but there’s still something in me that longs for more connection. I’m grateful for how far we’ve come in terms of justice and peace, but I long to live in a country where everyone is really equal and really free. I’m grateful for peace between neighbors and citizens, but I also long for peace throughout the whole of this war-torn world.

Gratitude helps me to notice all that God has given me. It roots me in the present and helps me to recognize God‘s love for me and for all people. But my desire for more comes from God too. It’s in my desire that God calls me (and us) to dream big and to make the world better. So, let’s open ourselves to deep gratitude, praising God in joy and thanksgiving, and then let’s notice our deepest longings and act on them. Our desire for more is God’s call for us to bring about the kingdom of God.

For reflection:

• Have you noticed this dynamic in your life, this movement of gratitude and desire for more? What’s that like? Where is God in it?

• For what are you grateful right now?

• What is the desire of your heart? What more do you want in your life, in your community and family, in the world?

• How is God calling you to more?

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She also serves on the Board of Spiritual Directors International. She enjoys music, dancing, and meaningful conversations.