Jesus and the In Crowd

There’s a lot that we can reflect on in our readings this Sunday, including a couple of really meaningful parables. What caught my attention, though, is the line that comes at the end of all of it: “With many such parables he spoke the word to them as they were able to understand it. Without parables, he did not speak to them, but to his own disciples, he explained everything in private.”

When you read this, don’t you want to be part of that inner circle, part of the select group to whom he explained everything in private? I sure do. How cool would that be – to get the personal scoop on everything he taught, and to be that close to him? His disciples meant a lot to him. They were his chosen family. He accompanied them, and they accompanied him. They knew each other’s families, and they celebrated holidays together. They were the ones to whom he entrusted his mission. I think he explained things in private because he loved them and wanted to share deeply with them.

Honestly, my desire to be in his group is a little bit about wanting to be close to Jesus, but it’s also about wanting to be part of his inner circle. I don’t think I’ve ever been in the inner circle, the In Crowd. I’ve always had friends, close ones, but I’ve never been in the clique with the cool kids. Once I was in a group that called ourselves the In Crowd. We were a little band of young, first-year teachers in a large public high school, and the fact that we had to name ourselves the In Crowd probably shows our real status in that school, right? We had impostor syndrome anyway as new teachers, and we were mistaken for students every day. Some of the other teachers would yell at us for being in the faculty room, just for sport. We were a crowd, to be sure, but definitely not the In Crowd. And also, if you have to name yourselves that, you’re definitely not in it.

If you have been part of the In Crowd, what was it like? Was it how it’s portrayed in movies like Mean Girls, where being in the clique means just doing what everybody else does and being mean to people outside the circle of coolness? On Wednesdays we wear pink? At my high school, that’s what it looked like anyway, even though we all wore uniforms (not pink ones). From the outside looking in, it seemed like a lot of pressure. My friends and I were unique and fun and ourselves. We weren’t cool, but we had each other, so we weren’t excluded like some students were.

When we talk about who’s in and who’s out, it’s not just about coolness, is it? It’s also about power and exclusion from power. There might be a dynamic of privilege and marginalization at play too. People who belong to marginalized groups might have their own circles of connection, but they’re often left out of the circle of power. I might be talking about the In Crowd flippantly, but the reality is that exclusion rather than belonging can really break people.

Knowing that dynamic, and knowing Jesus, is that what Jesus’s inner circle was like – cool kids in, misfits out? Actually, no, it was the opposite of that. Jesus sought to uplift, not break people, and I don’t think he invited the coolest people around to be part of his circle. Maybe Mary, Martha, and Lazarus were cool. They seemed like it. Mary Magdalene had seven demons, and even today we’re still wondering if she was a loose woman or not. (I say not.) A couple of the apostles spent a lot of time arguing about their status now and in the afterlife (naming themselves the In Crowd perhaps?). Peter was super hard to manage and a bit of a loose cannon. And Judas, well, yeah.

When it comes to Jesus, he himself was outside the circle of power, so it makes sense that those he called into his circle were the same way. What we know about Jesus was that he wasn’t into status or looks or money or success. He hung out with tax collectors and wasn’t afraid to touch a person with leprosy. Jesus considered family to be the ones who follow the will of God, not some great lineage. He also preached the Beatitudes, which tell us we’re blessed when we’re poor and meek and into peacemaking — qualities that are pretty uncool in the secular world, but ones which were important to Jesus.

And what was uncool in his eyes? Hypocrisy — going through the motions of prayer just to be seen and heard. Scrupulosity — religious leaders who enforced the rules but not the love of God. Exploitation — especially for the sake of religion (remember when Jesus lost his temper and flipped over the tables? Wow.). He was actually pretty challenging to the Circle of Power in his day.

So, even though I’d love to know what it’s like to be in his In Crowd, it seems like Jesus didn’t really have a clique. He valued people, but he also challenged them, especially when they didn’t treat other people well. Also, Jesus was close to a few people who weren’t cool by the world’s standards, but they meant a lot to him. And the same is true of us. In our day, Jesus can’t exactly pull us aside and explain the parables (although I wish he would). On the other hand, Christ speaks to each of us in the depths of our hearts. When we get still and quiet, we do have all the explanation — and guidance and love — that we need. Also, where two or three are gathered, there Christ is. Our call is not to create a holy clique out of that small group but to keep expanding the circle of belonging. Whenever we welcome the stranger, offer kindness to each other, and care for the vulnerable, Christ is present.

That’s good news for all of us misfits, right? Because of Christ’s love and welcome and care, we’re all part of his inner circle, the In Crowd of the Kingdom of God.

For Reflection

• What’s your relationship with the In Crowd? Do you tend to belong inside the circle or outside? How have you dealt with that?

• When it comes to other people, how do you welcome and include them?

• Who in your life, or in the larger context of our society, needs a little extra welcome? What would that look like?

• How are you called to respond to all of this? Maybe you could take a few moments to talk all of this over with God and see what God has to say.

By Sister Leslie Keener, CDP

Sister Leslie Keener, CDP is the director of God Space, a community-building spirituality ministry in Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky. She’s a Sister of Divine Providence with a Masters in Ministry and a Certificate in Spiritual Direction and Retreats from Creighton University. She directs retreats, meets with people for spiritual direction, and serves as the vocation director for her community. She enjoys music, meaningful conversations, and dancing.

You can listen to a podcast version of this reflection on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you get podcasts!